HOME.

How do I fight bouts of homesickness?

I've been doused with a need to explore that I know must fulfill, but I assure you that I'm still human. There are some days I yearn to crawl to my parent's house after a rough week, curl up on the couch, and feel encompassed by the love only the ones who created you can provide. I miss laughing with my friends, telling old jokes and sitting on porches. I miss the Brass Ring. I miss Mass Ave. I miss the Blue Ride Parkway.

Sometimes I stare at pictures of stinky cheese and prosciutto and raw honey on Pinterest until I am literally in tears.

I see my friends graduating and getting engaged and making plans and I know that I'm all the way over here, distant from their decisions and reunions.

And then I remind myself how blessed I am to have people who love me even though I leave, people who support me in my truest form, people who support my faithfulness to my truest desires.

I get to take. Take, take, take. And I get to live rest-assured that when I return, the ones who are important will still be around. This is a gift. This is a blessing. This is imperative for all the logical parts of my brain to even consider spending so much time away.

I get lonely but I know it's temporary. I open my inbox and I have handfuls of emails I have not replied to, all tiny portals of love that I am so happy to receive. I open my Facebook and see photos of my recent adventures "liked." I have text messages and video messages flooding my telephone. These give strength to my backbone.

It would be easy to let me go. It would be easy to recognize that I do not give with the same vastness that I receive.

All of this is how I slaughter homesickness. Sure, many lonely crevices are filled with I stumble upon a new location. I can supplement with new experiences and terrain and culture. But the things that collectively are my home cannot be learned or sought. They just, well... they just are.

Thanks for supporting me as I putter around never never land. Thanks for trusting me when I say "I don't know." Thanks for holding your breath, and deferring your responsible questions as I learn to be open and trust my instincts. Thanks for listening to my first-world problem bantering about whether I should go to Indonesia or Thailand or Cambodia for my summer vacation because gosh, life is full of such hard decisions, isn't it, Mara?

Mostly, thanks for giving me a whole lot of stuff to miss.

My life is excellent and I am a lucky woman surrounded by a bunch of gems. Trust me when I say I can feel it. And trust me when I say thank you.

SEORAKSAN NATIONAL PARK MAY 27, 2012