ONWARD

I'm nearing that point where the inevitable hand of the future reaches down and holds me up by my collar as I'm kicking and screaming.

I want to clutch everything.

The feelings don't fit into boxes. They are foreign, unpaved roads with logs and pot holes suggesting detours that can only substantiate.

I'm on my way out.

Now I'm sleeping with the windows open. It's fall, and in all the ways, this is my favorite time of year. The leaves change. I brace myself for winter.

I told my mother six months ago, nine months ago, who even knows how many months ago, that I would skip the winter this year. I would buy a ticket to Thailand, Ecuador, Costa Rica... anywhere promoting a temperature above 70 degrees Fahrenheit. And then I cracked a joke.

"You realize this means I'm going to end up in Suburbia."

She laughed. She knows my sarcastic nature.

So, I have a one way ticket to America followed by a one way ticket to Nepal. That's life. That's 50 degrees less than what I intended.

But for now it's autumn. For now I have Korea and mountains and a whole bunch of friends on the horizon. They're waiting. I'm expected. I'm lucky.

But now is... now. Hiking. Progress. Fighting. Surrendering. Adapting. Awaiting change. Balance.

I want to be here, and I can't deny how excited I am to be there. I'm in the perfect crux, a turbulent valley I can't deny inhabiting. I want to stockpile these transitions.

I know my love ones are interested.

November it's a bit of Indy and a bit of Utah.

December is a bit of Asheville, a bit of following a special human, and a lot of family.

January is unplanned with a lot of positive intention. January is Andrea VanNoy. Significantly, January is Mirabel Jane. My best friend is going to have a baby and I'm going to be an auntie. That's satisfying.

And then I have that ticket to Nepal. Nepal is Everest Base Camp. Nepal is challenge, beauty and accomplishment. Nepal will rip my heart - if not with temperature and pain, with awe.

And in April, I'll begin my thru hike across the Appalachian Trail. Terrifying. Magnificent. Thrilling.

Ladies and gentleman,

I'm less than 40 days from FUNEMPLOYMENT.

WOLCHULSAN NATIONAL PARK, SEPTEMBER 2012

(I'm running a 30 day photo/blog project that starts October 4. Follow that.)