FOUR

My publishing professor always preached that there was something about 4 am- perhaps the cosmos were aligned, or maybe all intention and clean, pure, direct energy and information was allowed to manifest and flow freely. If you woke up abruptly at four in the morning, you should record everything immediately.

It happened again. 4:09.

One thought somersaulted and revealed itself. VOILA!

We exist as humans to be. Just be.

The rest is all nonsense we fabricate in order to make us feel like we are somehow being more, but as far as I'm concerned, we either are or are not.

When I'm worried, anxious or uneasy, I Am Not. I may feel painfully aware of the Now, but I am in the past or in the future. I am certainly not existing in any kind of present state that would afford me the tools to transcend the feeling. I'm searching for blame or hyper-focusing on hypothetical events.

I might as well be on some other planet twiddling my thumbs and back flipping in to mud puddles while aliens run my brain.

But when I Am, nothing is bothersome because it's all part of a moment that I know I can't exist out of. Worry exists outside of this moment. Right now there's nothing. I just Am.

Or hell, maybe this is all jibberish and I should stop drinking caffeinated beverages before bed.

RAINBOW FALLS. BREVARD, NC.