SHAPES

Driving through the mountains I focused. This is full circle. Maybe I thought I had come fill circle before and perhaps I was near, but I wasn't here. This is all the way back. This is point one. This is the physical place of an intense emotional beginning.

I left here hungry. Hungry for change. Hungry for experience. Hungry for space and freedom and transcendence. Aren't those such vague words that we use to explain the nebulous feeling of, "I don't know what I need, but I'm going to get it"?

My pockets are full of life and that makes coming back here so special. I appreciate my progress and journey, and how this place equally cradled and catapulted me.

But yes. I'm here again. And I don't cry much these days but I keep losing water from my eyes. The house I wrote my heart out in. The coffee house I made my afternoon home. The establishments where the waitresses knew my face, my order, my quirks. The streets I wandered, searching for interaction and avoiding eye contact, an irony found in the center of depression.

And now I'm fine.
Yeah.
I'm going to say that again.
Now I'm fine.

I've been dragging myself back to the places that evoke distant feelings because I respect the past. I respect my past because I own the present. It's mine.

Full circle. 360 degrees.
I'm fine.