I'M GOING TO KATHMANDU.

In 4 days I will be in Nepal.

It's real and it's not. No trip is ever quite real for me until I land. Through the goodbye's, security and take off, I feel like I'm dreaming. After the slightly questionable airplane food and the packaged peanuts, after the mini bottles of Jack Daniels and cheap wine, after the naps, the M&Ms, the what-the-hell-time-is-it fidgeting, the iPod shuffling and the sporadic book reading, it's not real until I hear the wheels disengage from the airplane and I see land that I realize, holy shit, I've just flow across the planet Earth. And suddenly I walk right into my body again as if the new location is where I've been all along. It's the strangest thing. Though I long and yearn for it, the reality of leaving is incomprehensible to me until it's finished. I totally bypass all emotions leading to the climax.

Until now, when I'm worried.

When it comes to my body I like to call the shots.  That's the muscle-flexing, emancipating, false promise I clench to as a youngester: I am young and able-bodied, therefore I can do anything and I am invincible.

In this scenario, erroneous mind-fuel is moot. My body is in control on this trek. I'll be willing it along as it wishes and mindful of it's tolerance, but ultimately perseverance and determination aren't active players in in the midst of acclimatization and altitude sickness. Substitute: Intuition and Judgement. Those will serve me well. The consequences for negligence aren't pretty.

Some people think I'm overreacting, and that's okay. I overreact. I spit and talk with my hands when I'm angry. I exaggerate in honor of a good story. But whoa, I'm granting myself a Get Out of Jail Free card on this one folks, because Gracefully Serendipitous Mara is a bit scared.

For me, Everest Base Camp isn't about fulfilling a dream. I've also decided that it's not a test of endurance. To me Everest Base Camp is a series of beautiful mountains that I hope blow my mind. I've searched for an intention, or perhaps a set of thinking topics or mind games I want to tackle on this trek, but I'm unaccompanied by focus. Perhaps that's why the whole trek feels a little.. erratic.

The little man in the back of my brain, the one who fires the engine of serenity when I start hurling Rocks of Doubt toward the propeller blades, has been on double duty this week: Board the plane. You got this. Board the plane.

Open your Self. This is new and it's okay.





BE PATIENT WILD EYES.
SOON WILL COME A
STORM TO TAME YOU.
LET HER WINDS
SURROUND YOU. MATCH
HER FURY AND LET
FIRES REIGN. THERE IS
NO ESCAPE. NATURE 
MEANS WHAT SHE DOES.